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blog post cover image time estimate eye icon2min

Depression and me

I've hated discussing my mental health. There has been a lot of motivational speeches that say "your lowest points don't define you." (Or something close to that) and maybe, because of that phrase, I believed that being open about my mental health would cause my lowest moment to define me.

 

Through my continuous healing process, I've realized that something that is a part of me, doesn't define me. My essence is not my lowest moment in life but it is how I climbed back up to the top.

This is why anyone who is rising like a Phoenix from a mental health disease should be so proud.

 

Be proud of your experience. It is an impressive experience to undergo.

 

My journey down the hill started at a very young age and very subtly. Small things would work me up and I would remain quiet about it. Then, when puberty hit, the introduction to boys, parties and alcohol served as an easy distraction.

By my eighteenth year, I had finally met my match. I could no longer ignore the wheels that life was turning for all of us. (My friends too).

 

When you turn 18, it suddenly hits you that your life could turn out differently from another's. It hits you that your future is independent from everyone around you and it was on the last hour of my birthday that it all smacked me on the face.

 

To everyone who might undergo mental health disease after reading this, know this:

Your family is in trauma too, NOT only you.

Many times, we think we are the only ones suffering at that moment, just because we are the ones with the disease but that's far from the truth. Kilometres and kilometres away!

Please also know, that even if you might think they are not doing much to help, they are in fact risking everything to try and revert the situation.

Roosie Kuloba,
June 26, 2021

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